would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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