I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
