why didn't you poke me back
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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