Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
