Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
