your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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