is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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