I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
