Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
