I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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