Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
