Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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