i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
