I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
