I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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