she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
