You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
