dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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