he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
