Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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