I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
