I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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