You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
