C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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