I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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