I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
