its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
