The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
