he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
