I wish I only lived at night.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
