It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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