is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
