It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
