dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
