Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
