I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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