you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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