I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
