Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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