Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
