If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
