dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
