Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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