just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just threw up on my dentist
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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