if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
