somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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