yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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