HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just high enough for therapy.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
