"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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