If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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