Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
